Wednesday 30 March 2011

wishin', and hopin' and prayin'...

So, with things a little happier in the area of fitting in with other women (something I feel is important in helping me hone my wife and mother skills), I can't help but notice how few single friends I have. I find myself wondering why this is...I know YHVH has a plan for me. I know He loves me. I know He chose me to be part of His people Yisra'el. Yet, I do not know why He has me as an outsider still in the area of marriage and family. I still need to work on growing a servant's heart, on how to be thinking about how I can serve my Master, then my brothers and sisters in Messiah, then my husband to be, then my children and not just think in terms of wanting marriage and a family because they are nice things to have. My future family deserves more, and my Master deserves much, much more.

So pray for me, dear ones, that I would be like clay, and let the Potter mould me; that I would let the Ultimate Artist draw the masterpiece of my life without wanting to rub 'mistakes' out when they are in fact essential to the final outcome; that I will let the Weaver create a beautiful tapestry even if I can only see one small thread at present. How this will all work out, I do not know, but I know all things work out for His radiance, and that He loves me as one of His chosen people. And how can I be dissatisfied with that?

Shalom, beloveds.

Saturday 26 March 2011

isolated by my standards

Being Torah Observant in a country with a relatively small Jewish population (compared to the US) and living in an area without any kind of Jewish congregation (let alone Messianic) means that I often feel very isolated...particularly with regards to wondering how on Earth I will find a husband! I do go to church/my university's Christian Union, but I again feel isolated there, but for a different reason. I am something of a tomboy, and have always got on better with men than with women - not because I dislike women, but I have more male-orientated interests, such as politics, science, film and media studies (including filmmaking/screenwriting) and science fiction/comic books. This means that I easily make male friends...but am always seen as 'one of the boys'. I love children and cooking and other homemaker-type interests....but the pinkness and frillyness and Jane Austen-wannabe nature of a lot of female believers means I have little to talk about with them. I long for marriage and a family, and don't feel like YHVH wants me to abandon my natural personality for marriage's sake (and I do trust his plan for my life, even in the moments of sadness), but it is a lonely and often frustrating time inbetween.

Sunday 20 March 2011

Shalooooom!

Hello! Welcome to She Tied The Scarlet Cord! My name is Jade, and I am a 22 year old Torah Observant believer from the UK. Currently a history student, I am seeking the Father's will for my life and I aim to use this blog to help me glorify Him through fellowship with others. The blog title comes from Joshua chapter 2 - I have always loved reading about Rachav [Rahab] in Scripture and I pray that I will have faith like hers. She was saved by her trust in the Father, symbolised by the scarlet cord, and I hope that I will trust His will for my life just as much.